I Saw a Skull

(Parody of Monster Mash)

I was walking home from work late one night,
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight,
For something in the garden began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

I swear I saw a skull
(I saw a skull) My walk is never dull
(I saw a skull) Is my brain just too full?
(I saw a skull) I swear I saw a skull

It was impossible for it to be alive
But crumbling of dirt revealed some fingers five
Then an arm came from the garden topsoil
And my stomach began to roil

I swear I saw a skull
(I saw a skull) My walk is never dull
(I saw a skull) Is my brain just too full?
(I saw a skull) I swear I saw a skull

Maybe kids were having fun? (Wa hoo, tennis shoe)
Halloween had just begun (Wa hoo, tennis shoe)
But if it was legit, then I needed to run
The scene was scary, then I noticed the sounds
Clinking of chains, backed by some baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
And all I wanted was to stay alive!

I swear I saw a skull
(I saw a skull) My walk is never dull
(I saw a skull) Is my brain just too full?
(I saw a skull) I swear I saw a skull
Out from the garden, a voice did ring
But I was troubled by just one thing
I’m pretty sure my knees were gelatin. Voice said
"It’s not a real skull, it’s a plastic skeleton!”

I swear I saw a skull
(I saw a skull) My walk is never dull
(I saw a skull) Is my brain just too full?
(I saw a skull) I swear I saw a skull

Now everything's cool, I’m a part of the show
I scream in fright and cry out in woe!
For you, the living, this show was meant too
When you get to the door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can see a skull
(I saw a skull) The walk is never dull
(There is a skull) Is your brain just too full?
(There is a skull) Then you can see a skull
Garden with white rock that has three dark circles on it, making it look like the top of a skull poking out of the dirt. Skeletal arm and hands have been drawn in to look like a skeleton is rising from a grave.
(Seriously, though, that rock in my neighbour’s garden gives me the creeps!)

The Shadows Are Eerie

(Parody of The Addams Family theme song)

They're creepy and they're ghoulish,
Mysterious, not foolish,
They're altogether cruel-ish,
The shadows are eerie.

The tree is skeletal and.
The monster is quite tall and
It’s definitely Fall and 
The shadows are eerie.

Weird

Feared

Revered

So get a flashlight quick
A match and candlestick.
It’s not a magic trick
The shadows are eerie.
Shadows on a wall. There is a creepy-looking tree and a blob that looks like a fuzzy monster with eyes on stalks. Eyeballs have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Grr, Argh!" in Chiller font.

Something is Watching Me

(Parody of Somebody’s Watchin’ Me by Rockwell)

I’m just an average girl, with an average life,
Taking care of my kids, oh yeah, kicka** housewife.
All I want is to be left alone, everywhere I roam,
But why do I always feel
Like I’m in the Twilight Zone?

I always feel like something is watching me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like something is watching me
Is it just a dream?

When I go out at night
I sometimes get a fright
People shopping in the store I'm trying to avoid
Or can the stock on the shelving see me,
Or am I just paranoid?
Row of Ikea storage bins with air holes that look like meh eyes and mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in.
When I order takeout,
I'm afraid to eat my food
Cause I might open my bag and find dinner in a mood.
Styrofoam takeout container whose nubs for holding it closed look like eyes. A crack in the container looks like a nose. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in.
People say I'm crazy, just a little touch
But have you ever heard of pareidolia much?
That's why...

I always feel like something is watching me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like something is watching me
Where will the faces be?

I don't know anymore!
Are the houses watching me?
Two story house with upstairs windows that look like eyes over a long window mustache and triple window mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in.
What’s watching
Well is the back fence watching me?
Wooden fence with two knot holes that look like eyes and another that could be a nostril or beauty mark. Angry eyebrows and mouth have been doodled in.
Tell me what's watching
And I don't feel safe anymore, am I a ditz?
I wonder what's watching me now
What?
Some dinner bits?!
Cutting board with some leftover cabbage bits that look like two eyes over an angry mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in.
I always feel like something is watching me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like something is watching me
Tell me is it just a dream?

I always feel like something is watching me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like something is watching me
Where will the faces be?

I always feel like something is watching me
Oooh, whoa-oa-oa
I always feel like something is watching me
Tell me, can it be?
I always feel like something is watching me

Castle With a Face

(Parody of Castle on a Cloud from Les Miserables)

There is a castle with a face
I like its shocked look of surprise
Aren’t any lids to close its eyes
Not in my castle with a face.
Toy castle tower with two windows that look like wide eyes, over a wider window that looks like a gaping mouth. A crenellated balcony forms a jutting jaw.
There is a tower all upset
Holds court to grumble and to fret,
With hard-set jaw and an angry brow,
He says to all, “I see you want a row!”
I know a toy that looks at me,
I know a toy that interacts.
Toys that interact are pretty ace,
Just like my castle with a face.
Opposite tower of the castle with an extra piece that looks like an angry brow. Speech bubble says, "You'd be upset too, if you'd been de-moated at work!"

Bear With Me

If you go up to your trailer today
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go up to your trailer today
You’ll never believe your eyes.
For everything from counters to plugs
Has turned to bears - yes, even your rugs!
For today’s the day the Wizard Bears get their revenge!

Revenge day for all the bears.
All of the forest bears are tired of being chased away.
Watch them, catch them unaware,
And see them ruining your holiday.
See them changing things about
They’re adding ears and snouts,
But never mind, don't despair...
At twelve o’clock their magical chaos will wholly disappear
Along with all the little Wizard Bears.
Electrical box that looks like a bear face. Ears and snout have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "That's what you get for trying to keep bears out of campgrounds."

Canada, In a Nutshell

(Parody of Life in a Nutshell by Barenaked Ladies)

“We are not free!”
They’re screaming from a hot tub by the main gate
It seems to me
There was never any need for them to demonstrate.
‘Cause there are no mandates, just maybe some RATs,
They should be happy, but they want combat, so
It’s never enough, it’s never enough.
No, it’s never enough.

I think we need to worry ‘bout the things that other people say,
And I’m learning that disinfo has an awful lot of sway,
Call me alarmist, but it really doesn’t matter,
All that matters to me is we.

Our lives, in a nutshell.
People, out there trying to change them.
It could be easy, if
We don’t pay attention to them.
To them.

They memorized all the lies that certain politicians spout
Think Trudeau’s a fraud, and organized a nasty coup to take him out.
Our system is balanced, and it has checks,
We’re number six on World Freedom Index, but still,
It’s never enough, it’s never enough, 
No, it’s never enough.

I think we need to worry ‘bout the things that other people say,
And I’m learning that disinfo has an awful lot of sway,
Call me alarmist, but it really doesn’t matter,
All that matters to me is we.

Our lives, in a nutshell.
People, out there trying to change them.
It could be easy, if
We don’t pay attention to them.
To them.

We could fall down, if no one’s there to catch us from falling.
We must come round
‘Cause only with effort can we be forestalling the fascists.
I'm scared, eh, and that’s why

Our lives, in a nutshell.
People, out there trying to change them.
It could be easy, if
We don’t pay attention to them.
To them.

I think we need to worry ‘bout the things that other people say,
And I’m learning that disinfo has an awful lot of sway,
Call me alarmist, but it really doesn’t matter,
All that matters to me is we.
Red maple leaf with two marks that look like eyes above a vein forming an angry mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Leaf me out of your protests. I'm already strong and free."

Another Song Parrot-y

I thought that birds belonged to other men
‘Cause each time I got close,
They’d fly away again.

I feared their wings would beat and they would flee,
I faced the nights alone
Oh, how could I have known
That all my life I only needed tools?

Oh there are parrot’s eyes,
They’re lookin’ out from my tool wall 
There are parrot’s eyes
And now I’m in their thrall.
I swear that I can see forever in its eyes
Parrot’s eyes.
Picture of the handle of a saw that looks like a blue parrot with a hole for an eye. A beak has been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I hate these song parodies. They're toucan fusing."

May the Fourth Be With You

Coffee maker with an open lid that look like Darth Vader's helmet. Text boxes read, "How does Darth Vader take his coffee?" "A little on the dark side."

It’s Star Wars Day, So Call Me, Maybe

A princess stole some intel
Got caught, but she’ll never tell
Vader locked her in a cell
But the droids got away,
Trying to find Obi-Wan,
Luke helps them and they move on,
They hire Chewie and Han,
And now they’re on their way.

The ship was docking,
Princess Leia’s mocking,
Shots fired, Han’s fast talking,
“Situation normal,” says he.

Hey, this is Star Wars, in all its glory
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
There’s Ewoks, Porgs, and, a big Wookiee,
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
Hey, this is Star Wars, in all its glory
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
R2 and Threepio, are droids like BB,
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”

Princess Leia shot the wall,
A garbage monster they brawl, 
Old Obi Wan takes a fall,
But the rest get away.
With the rebels they plot
To use a weakness they spot
They need just one lucky shot,
To blow the Death Star away.

All ships undocking
Death Star size is shocking,
Targets now are locking,
But it’s not that easy.

Hey, this is Star Wars, in all its glory
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
There’s Ewoks, Porgs, and, a big Wookiee,
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
Hey, this is Star Wars, in all its glory
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
R2 and Threepio, are droids like BB,
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”

Before he thinks to use the Force, Luke misses so bad,
He misses so bad, he misses so, so bad.
Before he thinks to use the Force, Luke misses so bad,
Darth Vader attacks,
Luke misses so, so bad.
(Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad)

Thanks to help from the Force (and Han and Chewie)
He shoots the Death Star, it goes kablooie!

Hey, this is Star Wars, in all its glory
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
There’s Ewoks, Porgs, and, a big Wookiee,
“Force be with you,” Yoda says, “May the”
Part of a model trebuchet that looks like Yoda. Speech bubble says, "Force be with you, may the."

For Crying Out Loud!

I’ve been meaning to tell you,
I’ve got this craving that won’t subside
I look at you and I want deep fried
Appies tonight

Now I’ve got you in my sights

It’s those onion eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
It’s those onion eyes,
I think how good they’ll taste caramelized

I want to eat you, so hear me out.
I want to show you what cooking’s about,
Darling tonight,

Now I’ve got you in my sights,

It’s those onion eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
It’s those onion eyes,
I think how good they’ll taste caramelized

It’s those onion eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
It’s those onion eyes,
Did I take you by surprise?

I need you to see,
This meal was meant to be.

It’s those onion eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
It’s those onion eyes,
I think how good they’ll taste caramelized

It’s those onion eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
It’s those onion eyes,
Did I take you by surprise?

It’s those onion eyes,
Those tasty onion eyes
I’ve got you in my sights.
It’s those onion eyes.

Two sprouted onions sitting above a small bowl, looking like a surprised face.  Long hair has been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Take a hike, you rapscallion!"